Obvious Dating Requirements

I've become aware that I've let people slide on some ethical issues concerning dating. So whenever I date someone again, I will be able to refer them to this blog post, in the case of any confusion about these issues.

1) If you like me enough to sleep with me, and if you think you are having feelings for me, be advised that you will soon introduce me to your parents, and closest friends, and ANY AND ALL ex boyfriends you may still be "friends" with. I will allow you to get through all this at your own pace, but please know AND ACKNOWLEDGE that it will be one of my priorities. If you won't introduce me to your loved ones and ex's that you're still "friends" with, please know that I'm just sleeping with you, and that you can't expect anything more out of me. I don't care what your excuse is. Parade me around your life in front of everyone, or just shut up and take your clothes off. This will apply within a few weeks after we have the "talk" and decide we are going to date exclusively. You must say yes to this unconditionally with no exceptions.

2) If I tell you I don't like the chemistry you're having with your new male friend, you must immediately cut him off, unless there is money involved. Again, this only applies to you if you're trying to date me or get anything out of me other than sex. NO NEW FRIENDS is how I say it. You don't need more male friends. I uphold this policy for my girlfriends, and expect the same in return. Including when you're drunk. No excuses, ever. If there is money involved, I may tolerate a new male friend in your life, but you have to be pretty much all over me in front of any man I notice you have chemistry with.

3) CHEER ME ON in my projects and endeavors, even if it means you can't see me as often as you'd like. DON'T BE DEAD WEIGHT or baggage for me, or I will drop you immediately. Never whine about the time I spend being creative. CHEER ME ON like you're my fan. I'll do the same for you, as an obvious matter of ethics.

4) UNCHECK AUTO-ARGUE. When a female's auto-argue feature is turned on, it's a turnoff. What the fuck are you talking to me for, if you want to naysay, backtalk and argue in every other conversation? This isn't the Mesa College Debate Team. Shut up and test drive my ideas sometimes. Or go away.

5) DRESS UP FOR ME MORE THAN YOU DRESS UP FOR ANYONE ELSE, except maybe the judge. People can really be idiots about this. It seems obvious to me. The longer I date someone, the MORE I try to dress nice, smell nice etc. Is this hard to figure out?

6) Be professionally standoffish with my male friends, and get to know my female ones. I will reciprocate.

I hope I can show this list to a female someday and have her say "That all sounds right to me! I expect the same so I'll do all that for you!"

In short:
1) Introduce me to everyone.
2) No new male friends(unless money is involved).
3) Cheer me on.
4) Stop pointless arguing.
5) Dress up for me.
6) Don't get too close to my male friends.

It's not rocket science, people...

In case you're wondering if I'm a chauvanist, I'm not. I want a woman to have her own things going on that have nothing to do with me. I want a woman to be healthy, empowered, free...... and very into me, and very into showing it.